Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year!

Just wanted to wish everyone a very happy and healthy New Year!! We hope that 2009 brings everyone all of the happiness that they wish for! :)

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Sick of Spotting!

Why can't we just have a spotting free pregnancy?!?!?! This isn't helping us relax and just enjoy being pregnant!

Over the weekend, J again had brownish spotting, this time along with mild to medium cramping. We headed into our Dr on Monday for an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok. They had previously told us that we would see spotting b/c of the small bleed on J's uterus but they also said we should come in if we had any problems.

As soon as we got to the office we were brought right in and the technician immediately said the babies looked fine. PHEW! She measured the babies and J's uterus as well as checked the heartbeats which were a perfect 173 and 180 for Baby A and Baby B respectively. The bleed was still visable on the ultrasound but since our Dr wasn't in the office, they said they would call us after he looked over our ultrasound pictures. To our untrained eyes, the bleed looked bigger but the technician said it is hard to tell b/c the ultrasound is 2D. She also said the uterus is a muscle so while it is being stretched, cramping is expected. A few hours later Jenn, our favorite nurse, called to tell us that our Dr said everything looked great on our ultrasound but J should be put on bedrest until the spotting has stopped and then for 24 hours after. By this time the spotting had stopped so by Wednesday (Christmas Eve) J would be off bedrest and would just have to "take it easy."

We think we overdid it last Friday morning when we got stuck out in the snow storm after our last appointment. Our place is up a very large hill and the roads were not yet plowed so not many cars were making it up the hill. We didn't want to risk it so we ended up parking in a shopping center lot overnight and hoofing it up the half mile hill in the snow and cold carrying all of our bags. The next day, the spotting and cramping started. If you remember, J is not allowed to exercise at the moment, so climbing this hill (and walking down it the next morning) was clearly the cause. Not sure why it didn't even occur to us to call a cab - we guess we still have a lot to learn.

J's parents and brother came up for Christmas. We had planned to go food shopping and get last minute gifts on Monday and Tuesday but since J was put on bedrest, M had to do ALL the work!! She tackled the crowds at the mall, waited in long lines at the food store and then came home to take care of her wife while cleaning our place! As if this wasn't enough, she also prepped the meals for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and made 2 cakes and a pie! While J's family was here, M did everything as well, as to not let J overdo it again. J is definitely putting her up for the best wife award this year! J has had no cramping or spotting since so all M's efforts have paid off. :)

As for some pregnancy updates, the single most significant symptom would be EXHAUSTION! We are 10 weeks 2 days pregnant today and hoping that the second trimester brings some relief. We think that beside the fact that J is growing two lil babies inside her, her extreme exhaustion is from lack of exercise and lack of protein. We had b/w done yesterday to check to see if J is getting anemic (along with checking her thyroid levels). No meat appeals to J still, but she did manage to eat a few peices of ham on Christmas and some tofu sausage last night. It's a start!

We go back for our last visit to our RE on Jan 5th and at that point will get "enough ultrasound pictures to wallpaper our walls," says our stingy ultrasound technicial who will not give us a single picture. Now that our families know, they all want to see pictures - AS DO WE!

We hope everyone had a great holiday and have a happy and safe New Year!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

A Wonderful Day

Yesterday we celebrated Christmas with M's family in Scranton, PA. The day started off with us giving M's mom a belated birthday present. The present was a Christmas ornament of a pregnant woman's belly upon which we had "babies" written. There was an arrow pointing from the word to the big round belly. We also had written "Grandparents To Be" along the bottom. When she opened the gift she immediately began smiling and teared up and M's dad leaned in to see what the gift was. As they began hugging us in joy, J said we saw them dancing in her uterus yesterday at which point M's parents FROZE and said "What do you mean... THEY?!?!" We guess they didn't see the "..ies" at the end of "babies"!! They were absolutely thrilled! M's brother and sister in law were there and were equally excited.

M's sister arrived a little later, so we told her while the family was opening gifts. We told her in a similar fashion to how we told J's family. We let her open a gift with one onesie in it and then we waited about 30 minutes until all the gifts were opened and gave her another gift with the matching onesie in it. Her reaction was PRICELESS! Bawling and screaming "T-W-I-N-S"!! It was an amazing day all around.

We had a delicious Christmas dinner which had many a toast to a happy healthy year and of course to our two little miracles.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Two Week Waits Never End

So this was a really long two weeks of waiting .... we definitely thought that getting pregnant meant the end of those dreaded two week waits ... but they are in full effect still!

Towards the end of the 1st week we became very anxious to have a look inside J's uterus just to be sure everything was still A-OK. Plus we were taking a trip to Raleigh for J's grandmother's birthday. Since J's immediate family was going to be there, we were planning on telling them about our pregnancy, so we thought we'd feel better if we saw that everything was still a go. So we called our doctor and asked if we could come in and long story short they said no. Apparently they don't "scan just to scan". Apparently they also forgot that we just recently had a m/c around these same weeks. Oh well. We decided to go ahead and tell J's parents, brother, sister, and brother-in-law anyway. We showed them a onesie and let them soak it in ... and then BAM! pulled out another matching onesie. The reactions were really priceless. J's brother - who is 26 - is so excited, it's really cute how into it he is!

Today we went in for our scheduled visit. Luckily we got in before the storm hit (getting home was another story). The first thing the u/s technician said was "everything looks great". This was exactly what we wanted to hear! Then she did her usual measuring and prodding around, and told us the heart rate of Baby A was 175 bpm. As she kept measuring she began shaking her head in a "no" like fashion ... clearly we both internally started flipping out! What seemed like hours later she finally announced that the heartrate of Baby B (Lil' Stinker) was 183 bpm. He was moving around too much for her to get the reading - which is why she was shaking her head. Baby B continues to live up to his name as the trouble maker!

She then turned the u/s screen and began explaining what we were seeing. At this point in the appointment, M had already cried once. It was here that J saw what had made her cry. There on the u/s screen were two babies - not little blobs - but BABIES! She pointed out the obvious - the heads, the bodies, the little arm and leg buds, the hearts and the spinal cords. We were (and still are) in disbelief at how much they were moving around! It looked like they were dancing and giving us Jazz hands! Sooooooooo cute and so unbelievable!

Our Dr then came in and again repeated that everything looked great. We are 9 weeks and 1 day today and J's uterus is measuring around 11 weeks. We asked if she could begin exercising and to our surprise he said no. He brought up the issues we've had in the past and mentioned that small bleed in J's uterus and suggested she just stay off her feet and be waited on. J had no argument with that! We also asked about the progesterone suppositories and how much longer J would be on them and he said until 12 weeks.

We go back in two weeks to get our diploma (aka files). Then we are off to our new OB/GYN thanks to an excellent referral from Mommy and Mamita - who we also want to congratulate again on their progressing BFP!!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

All we want for Christmas are our 2 heartbeats :)

Sorry we haven't blogged in a while but J has been sleeping since the last blog entry. ;)

Our dr appt this morning went very well. We were excited to see our babies after a FULL LONG WEEK! Baby A, who has been nicknamed Show Off, was all out and about with a strong heartbeat of 128 bpm. Baby B, who has been nicknamed Little Stinker, was hiding at first but then appeared and showed us an equally strong heartbeat of 122 bpm. The u/s technician said everything looked great but did point out a small area that could be a bleed near Baby A! She said our dr would talk to us about it.

Our dr said we were 7 weeks 2 days pregnant (as if we didn't know that already) :) J's uterus was measuring 9 weeks and he also said everything looked great. I asked him about the bleed that the u/s technician mentioned and he said it was nothing to be concerned about. He said most, if not all pregnancies have this and it will not cause a m/c. He said we should think of it like an air bubble behind wallpaper. It could cause spotting but definitely not a m/c. This made us feel much better. He actually left saying everything was an A+ and to come back in 2 weeks.

More pregnancy symptoms have kicked in this past week. J hasn't eaten a real meal since Thanksgiving - no puking, just no appetite at all and lots of food aversions (don't bring meat of any kind around her!). She has nausea that comes and goes and of course sleeps whenever she can. Although there has been a few very early mornings where she'll get up to pee (for the 2nd or 3rd time that night) and not be able to fall back to sleep- even though it is only 4am. She's been feeling a lot of uterus stretching and some headaches from time to time. J has taken to wearing a sports bra 24-7 as it helps with the soreness of her now very large (and veiny) bb. Sexy eh? Oh, and have we mentioned J cries at the drop of a hat? She recently started to cry during a Mc.Donalds commerical!

Today we went to and perused the entire store. First stop, stretch mark lotion! M has been commissioned to rub this on J's belly and bb twice a day. We spent significant time rocking on the gliders and imagining how different our lives will soon be. I wouldn't say we are scared, but seeing the 2 heartbeats today really made it all seem that much more real. We are definitely having twins. 2 babies. Same time. Whoa.

We stopped by bord.ers in hopes to pick up a good book about twins and pregnancy with twins. Can you believe there wasn't a SINGLE book?!?! When we got home we went online and found a few that looked good and ordered them.

We also got our Christ.mas tree today and decorated our place. While typing this blog, we are in the process of watching The Story for the 3rd time. (J fell asleep through the 1st and 2nd viewing so we keep restarting it.) Unfortunately we didn't get a picture of our babies today so we are posting a picture of our tree and our furry baby instead. We think Addy is looking for her presents under the tree. She's been sitting there for HOURS! Too cute!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Spotting Scare

Last night J had some spotting and we freaked out a little. It didn't last long and there wasn't much blood but it was bright red and frightening.

Since it stopped quickly we didn't call our dr until this morning. He said since it stopped and it wasn't accompanied by cramping we didn't have to worry, it was normal but if we wanted to come in this morning we could. So we did. :)

We drove (quickly) back from Scranton, PA where we had celebrated Thanksgiving. We thought the office closed at noon but at 9am when we spoke to our dr, he told us they were closing at 11am today. Needless to say, we scooted out of M's parents house in whirlwind time making up all sorts of excuses on the way. To make it a little more complicated, we had our brother and sister in law riding back with us. And I should restate, no one knows that we are pregnant yet.

Miraculously we made it to the dr in time and were brought right in for an u/s. The u/s technician said immediately that she didn't see any bleeding in the vagina and then preceeded to say there was no bleeding in the cervix or around the gestational sacs. PHEW! She then did the usual measuring and asked J to hold her breath a few times. After a few minutes, she turned the monitor and showed us the sacs and then showed us the heartbeat of Baby A!! All J could say was OMG! We had NO idea we would be able to see a heartbeat today! She then showed us Baby B and we could not yet see the heartbeat. She said this was of no concern for a few reasons. One, and the primary reason, being the positioning of the 2nd sac. (As you can see, Baby B still looks smaller in this image, but it isn't, it's just shy.) It is located lower and almost behind Baby A so it is hard to see it. Secondly it was still early, they didn't expect us back for 3 more days to see the heartbeats. She was confident everything was just fine and once it gets a little bigger, we'll be able to see them both.

Our dr then came in and said while he couldn't really explain the bleeding, he stressed that most if not all pregnancies have some spotting. As long as it isn't heavy and accompanied by cramping, it is fine. He did a quick examination and concurred that everything felt normal. We were 6 weeks 2 days pregnant today and J's cervix was measuring 7 weeks. He said we didn't have to come back in on Tuesday but to reschedule for a week from today; next Saturday. He adviced J to stay off her feet for a few days and also said we may see more spotting so not to be alarmed. We'll let you know how that goes. ;)

We are relieved yet still in shock of seeing a heartbeat today. Absolutely Amazing!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Turkey Day!

Just wanted to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy the turkey! :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Guess we should have listened to you

Many of you speculated, some of you guessed and a few of you even insisted.

Well, please meet Baby A and Baby B :)

Looks like we should listen a little more closely to our well-educated blogging friends. (Due to the angle of the ultrasound when the picture was taken, you can't see Baby B that well but they are both about the same size)

We were able to see 2 yolk sacs in their respective gestational sacs but it was too early to see the babies or the heartbeats for that matter. Our doctor advised us against going out and buying matching outfits until we see the heartbeats next week but he feels that everything looks great at this point and he'd be surprised if we didn't have a great visit next week as well. He said a lot of other positive things but we didn't really catch it all because we were so overwhelmed. We just stared at each other smiling. And to be honest, we are still wearing our smiles. We both always wanted to have twins, so maybe this is the reason (if there has to be one) for our last baby not making it.

We are told their due date is July 23rd and that we are 5 weeks 5 days pregnant. Our Dr said J's uterus felt 6 to 7 weeks in size and the cervix was long, thick and closed (closed sounds good to us!). We have our next appointment on Tuesday Dec. 2nd at which point we should be able to see two heartbeats. It is going to be a LONG holiday weekend – but we are filled with so much joy!! :)

We'd like to thank you all for your positive sticky bean vibes … it worked... TWICE!

Monday, November 24, 2008

New betas are in!


It doubled. It a little more than doubled actually so we couldn't ask for anything more. Tomorrow afternoon we go in for our first u/s to see the gestational sac! How exciting!! :)

J has been extraordinarily tired lately. Besides very tender (and large!) bb this is her only major symptom. Very mild nausea sets in from day to day - but nothing a few pretzels and some Ginger.Ale can't fix. Ginger.Ale is seriously the miracle elixir. Today J slept most of the day, lucky for her she works from home! Not so lucky for her company (wink, wink). She gets some random pains in her belly which freaks us out - but we're pretty sure all is well and it's just all of her ligaments and uterus stretching ... or gas. :)

We love the betas we've been getting, but we are ready to see the sac ... and the heartbeat ... and the baby! We've gotten to all these milestones before and we really won't be able to relax until we get past the heartbeat hump. We haven't been lucky enough to get to that milestone yet. We think this is our time!

Thursday, November 20, 2008


Christmas Tagged by Gia, so here it goes!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Recyclable brown bags personally decorated
2. Real tree or Artificial? REAL
3. When do you put up the tree? It's already up. (JUST KIDDING) Early December
4. When do you take the tree down? Early January
5. Do you like eggnog? Not so much
6. Favorite gift received as a child? ALF doll (for both of us, strange you say? Clearly we were destined to be together)
7. Hardest person to buy for? We're really good shoppers
8. Easiest person to buy for? Each other
9. Do you have a nativity scene? No, but looking for the perfect one
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Definitely mail
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Nothing that couldn't be regifted ;)
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? We're changing this question to FAVORITES - A Christmas Story, Home Alone (1), Charlie Brown Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, the original Miracle on 34th street, Elf
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Black Friday
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? See question 11
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? M's homemade apple pie or homemade Christmas cookies
16. Lights on the tree? Yep, white lights
17. Favorite Christmas song? Too many to list, no single favorite but we have been listening to Christmas music since Nov 1 ;)
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Travel - family in PA and DC
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? But of course, we could say them or sing them
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Both
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Traffic near malls
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Silver and Red
24. Favorite meal for Christmas dinner? Turkey and stuffing and lots of sides (does this sound a lot like Thanksgiving?!)
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? To see our baby's heartbeat

We tag TravelHer

Four Digits

Things are still looking great! Our beta this morning was 1604! YAY!

We were told to come back in on Monday for another bw and if all looked good, we'd have our first ultrasound on Tuesday. We both already love our nurse Jenn, but when she calls with news like this, we love her even more. :)

We have not told any of our friends or family yet about the pregnancy or even that we were doing IVF. This one we are keeping to ourselves and our blog readers until at least 12 weeks.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

On the up and UP

We had follow up blood work on Monday and our beta was up to 434! We are very happy with this number since it more than doubled since Friday!! We haven’t been able to blog because our home internet isn't working correctly and we can’t get on important websites such as our blo.g and hot.mail =\ Since J had to travel for work Tuesday and Wednesday, we won't have our next bw until tomorrow morning. We sure like the reassurance of a rising beta this early on! We are very excited about our numbers but because of past events, are still a little cautious about falling in love with the idea of being TRULY pregnant. We've been through that heartache and it SUCKED!

But we are taking it day by day and staying relaxed and just enjoying the beginning of the holiday season!

Friday, November 14, 2008

The results are in...

It's official.

We're pregnant!

And with a whopping 176 first beta, we are EXTREMELY happy!

Our last miscarriage started with a 12.1 beta so we are feeling pretty good today. We go back in on Monday for our next bw. In the meantime, J is to start prenatal vitamins and 1 baby aspirin a day and we are more hopeful than we have ever been.

Not really sure what else to write so we'll end it with YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! :)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Only During Your TWW Would...

Only during your tww would the below list of symptoms be acceptable and even welcomed.

* Complete exhaustion
* Nausea
* Sore BB
* Frequent trips to the bathroom
* Cramps/Bloating

All good pregnancy signs right? Well, the best sign of all was this one we got this morning...

Slight nausea kicked in last night and continued this morning and well, the rest of the symptoms have pretty much been on and off throughout this whole process. We can’t wait for our blood work tomorrow to see where our beta numbers are. With the way our perfect IVF cycle has gone, we won’t accept anything less than 100% (or well a beta of 100 would be nice) ;) We are excited but obviously cautious as J’s had 2 miscarriages already. How nice it must be for those people who take a pregnancy test, see it's positive and that's that. They have a beautiful baby in 9 months. No worrying about beta numbers, weekly ultrasounds, or if they’ll see a heartbeat or not. They're JUST pregnant. Since we are not “THOSE” people, we’ll just take it day by day, reach each milestone as it comes our way. First being good numbers tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Well, we are headed into the last few days of our tww. We go in on Friday for bw to see if we are pregnant. We’re just going to go ahead and assume we are, is that bad? No, there haven’t been pregnancy symptoms really, none that J hasn’t had since she started the injections (cramps, sore bb, exhaustion which is prob from progesterone) but we are going in hopeful and with a positive attitude. The last 2 times we tried to get J pregnant, she did. Unfortunately both of those pregnancies ended (chemical and no heartbeat at 6 weeks) but can that really happen again? Could life be so cruel as to have history repeat itself over and over again? Can these 2 “perfect” blastocysts really not implant and form at least 1 beautiful baby in 9 months?

Yes, we are pregnant. At least until we get the results of the bw on Friday.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

I hope I don't get bed sores... I'll be horizontal for the next few days. ;) I certainly won't get stir crazy though as my wife is taking EXCELLENT care of me and our babies. The dr recommended 2 days of bedrest but I plan on laying here until.... well, they are born. We're not taking any chances ;)

Everything went great this morning. Unlike what we have read on other blogs, M was not allowed in the operating room for the transfer. It was just Dr R, a very hyper nurse, the embryologist and me in crazy moonboots that they kept referring to as "stir ups". I mean my legs (up to my knees) were STRAPPED into these bright yellow and black boots!

We are lucky to have 3 extra blasts that were able to be frozen today (for the bargain price of $1700 which of course is NOT covered by insurance). We are hoping that they remain frozen for at least a year ;)

Aside from a cyst check appt or two, now we just sit tight (and look at our little picture of our blastocysts) until we go in for a pregnancy test late next week. Our TWW is slightly shortened by the 5 day transfer but it sure doesn't make it any easier!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

And the 6 report cards are in...

5 of our little embies are dividing perfectly and look very strong! The sixth is looking good just lagging slightly behind the others in the cell dividing. Our embryologists thinks it will have caught up by tomorrow. Guess we'll see :)

We are just sitting here watching the elections and are hopeful that our kids will be born during an Obam.a presidency.

We just need one more perfect report tomorrow and our scheduled 7am transfer on Thursday is a GO!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Cautiously Optimistic

Yep, six fertilized little growing embryos all with half of J's genetic makeup (lucky dawgs!) :)
It is truly insane to think about it in this way. Just 15 miles west of where we sit, right now, there are 6 babies-to-be growing. Our six little babies. Dr R wants to do a 5 day blastocyst transfer which means Thursday at 7am, 2 of those little babies-to-be will be inside J. FINALLY. We are SUPER nervous that some may not make it to day 5. Is it ok to be sad if some don't? Not sad b/c we won't be able to use them, but sad b/c right now they are growing and mulitplying and... real.

Dr R decided to do a 5 day transfer b/c these 6 embryos are multiplying perfectly and have a perfect shape to them. He wants to be able to watch them for a couple more days to be able to pick the perfect 2 to transfer. So, now we wait, again. Wait for our next fertilization report tomorrow. Wait for the transfer on Thursday. Wait to see if they embed. Wait to see if we are pregnant. Wait.

We are worried that Dr R should have chose a 3 day transfer but we know if he did, we would have worried about why we weren't doing a 5 day transfer. No matter what method we use, it is still 100% a guessing game. All up to luck and chance with a little assistance from a guy in scrubs.

In the meantime, we'll try to keep busy but we are not sure what else there is left to do! We did everything we could this past weekend waiting for our first update! The house is spotless, the coupons are clipped and organized and as previously mentioned, the sewing is done too. Aside from an insane amount of pills J is on post IVF, there are no more nightly injections to do and her stomach is finally beginning to look somewhat normal again. The only reminder that any of this IVF stuff ACTUALLY happened is J's sore ovaries from the retrieval and a small IV prick mark on her arm.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

tick tick tick

Who else is sick of waiting for our Dr to call with the results of the fertilization?

Oh, just us? Ok.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

9 Lives

This morning we went in for the egg retrieval bright and early. By 8:30am Dr R pulled me from the waiting room to give me the outcome of the retrieval. First and foremost, everything went well and J did great. Secondly they had managed to retrieve 9 mature eggs! 9 is a good number. We are happy with 9. Then Dr R said that the important thing is that they are 9 good eggs. He repeated that they look really good. We are happy with 9 really good looking eggs.

Once J woke up from the anesthesia we went home and spent the bulk of the day relaxing in bed ... and by relaxing I mean waiting impatiently to hear from our Dr about the fertilization. So we did what we could to make the day go by quickly. Today J realized that M has a new nervous habit. Sewing. She couldn't have stitched more holes in sweaters, sweats, and socks today. If it was stitchable, it was stitched. A talent like this can come in handy in 9 months!

We should hear tomorrow and are waiting IMpatiently for more good news. It's weird to think that somewhere miles away from us our potential babies are sleeping (and growing) in a petri dish!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Save the Date!

Together with their follies
Mrs. J H
Mrs. M H
request the honour of their Dr's presence
at their egg retrieval
on Saturday, the first of November
Two thousand and eight
at half past seven o'clock in the morning
Dr R's Office
New Jersey

Transfer to Follow


Just call us the Du.ggers

Have any of you been consumed like we have by these large family programs on TL.C? We can never get enough Jon and K.ate +8 and now, the family with 17 kids - the D.uggers. We are currently referring to ourselves as the D.uggers since we found out on Tuesday that we now have SEVENTEEN little follies trying their hardest to grow grow grow! (Keep it up guys! You're doing great!) I have 9 follies on my right ovary (the primary ovary we are told) and 8 on the left. We go back in this morning (WHY have I been up since 3:30am?) for b/w and u/s and to maybe set the day for the retrievel. Will it be Saturday or Sunday? Yesterday we went into our RE's office and had to read through and sign what seemed like more documents then when we bought our home! We had to answer questions like "If J dies, what happens to the frozen embryos, does M get them or are they destroyed", if "M dies, who gets them" and what if we both die or get divorced. In case you are wondering, I'm taking the eggs, M gets the couch. ;) The fact that we were even asked these questions made me VERY HAPPY that we moved to NJ. I highly doubt that Virginia would have given us the option of leaving the frozen embryos to M without getting a lawyer involved!

As for my being up since 3:30? This has unfortunately becoming a common routine recently. Has anyone had insomnia while taking Lupr.on or Re.pronex? Maybe it is just all the excitement about the I.VF (including the painful bruised belly and 2 very large sore ovaries that I feel anytime I roll over) along with the fact that work has been super busy but if I wake up for any reason during the night, I'm up until I go back to sleep the following night. I consider myself a walking zombi at this point. Perhaps I'm just getting my body used to motherhood (9 months early) ;) It's times like these that I LOVE my kitty the most! If I'm up, she's up, keeping me company. You can meet our little angel at She's a diva!

Monday, October 27, 2008

A dozen one day, a bakers dozen the next

On Saturday we had our first u/s to inspect how well the Repro.nex was working with J's ovaries. There were 12 little follicles - 8 on the right side and 4 on the left. Today we went in for another u/s and b/w and found that we now have 5 follicles on the left and 8 on the right! And most of them had increased in size since the prior u/s. So all in all everything looks good. Tomorrow we go in for u/s and b/w #3. We were told today that our estimated retrieval day will be Friday or Saturday. This is what our dr predicted way back when we started the IVF injections a month ago and lo and behold - he was right!!

As you can see from the pictures below, J's stomach is looking sexy. By our count we have about 1 bruise and/or welt for each follicle. I'd say that's an even trade :)

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Strange places

When we started doing these shots for IVF we didn't realize how challenging it would be to do them every day at the exact same time. With our crazy schedule we've had to get pretty creative to get them all in and at the same time. Here are some of the strange places that we've had to "shoot up":

- Wedding Reception: Not only were we attending our friends wedding but we were also the wedding videographers. We ran outside to the car half way through dinner service to get our 8PM shot in. When we got back inside we realized that we almost missed video taping the father daughter dance and the mother son dance!

- Restaurant bathroom: During dinner with friends we had to duck away in the bathroom of the restaurant in NYC to take care of business. Unfortunately the restaurant only had a single bathroom for both men and women! When we came out there was a long line and everyone was grumbling at us ... clearly under the misconception that we had been in there having some fun - we were in the Chelsea area after all.

- At J's parents house: J told her parents that she had to get on a work conference call at 8PM with some people on the West coast. This was the only way she could slip away for a 1/2 hour during her visit with them without them wondering where she went.

We still have 1 week of shots left (minimallly) so who knows what fun things will get added to this list!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

My wife ... the human pin cushion.

Last night was the first night that J had to do two shots in her stomach. The shots have to be done somewhere between the pelvic bone and the bottom of the ribs, and they also can not be done within a 2-3 inch diameter of the belly button because that area is very sensitive and it would hurt (worse than it already does). So that leaves about 3 sq inches of space to work with on each side. We got both shots done but J said the Repro.nex really hurt afterwards. It is also a pain in the ass to mix the powder & water to create the Repro.nex shot! It took us almost half an hour to create a 10cc shot last night. This morning I couldn't help but notice that my wife's beautiful stomach was beginning to resemble somewhat of a battle ground. Everywhere I looked I saw pin pricks, or bruises, or welts. I really don't know where we will do the 2 shots a day for the next 12 days since we seem to be quickly running out of available real estate.

I feel 100% terrible giving J these shots each night. I am sure she can't wait for these 12 days to be over so the pain will go away and her stomach can heal. I concur. Hopefully the bruises and welts will disappear as a new little baby bump forms! When we have a beautiful baby at the end of all this it will be soooooooo worth it.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

And then there was 2 ...

... shots that is!

J had her b/w and u/s today to see if the Lup.ron had successfully supressed her ... ummm ... everything. "Baseline" is the word everyone in the doctors office kept using for what we were trying to achieve. Anyway she was sufficiently supressed which means we get to move on to the the next step of IVF - stimulating the ovaries to produce lots of follicles!

It's almost unbelievable that we had two doctors appointments this week and both times we left there smiling. That is a welcomed change!! So starting tonight J has to do 1 shot of Repro.nex and 1 shot of Lup.ron. M should probably do 1 shot of Tequilla so as to not feel left out.

Next appointment is Friday for some more b/w to see how things are coming along. Now follies - don't disappoint your mommies and GROW GROW GROW!!

Monday, October 20, 2008

A+ Uterus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well it is Monday evening and this morning J had her Hydro-tubation procedure - which if you read our previous blog entry you'd know that the outcome of this procedure would decide whether we proceed with our IVF cycle or not. If our dr saw any polyps or abnormalities in J's uterus then we'd have to stop and have them removed - which would lead to another 90 day waiting period and utter devastation.

About 2 minutes into the procedure Dr R announced that "everything looks great so far". And about 2 minutes later he said that everything was perfect. In fact he said that everything was better than perfect, it was an A+! It's been a long time since we got graded on anything but I don't remember it ever feeling so good to get a perfect score!

So with that we are proceeding with IVF as planned. Tomorrow brings our first b/w to see if the Lup.ron suppressed everything completely. If it has, we move on to the next step - Repro.nex.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Hydro WHAT?

J is scheduled for a hydro.tubation procedure on Monday 10/20. Basically they stick a catheter into her uterus, fill her uterus with saline solution and look for polyps or other abnormalities in her uterus that could interfere with a potential pregnancy.

Basically, if this test doesn't go well and the dr finds something, the IVF cycle is a BUST. Our dr calls this "being thorough" - we call it ANNOYING.

Our FINGERS and TOES are crossed.

Shots Shots Everywhere and Not a Drop to Drink

We called our doctor back in September get our medication ordered as we were told it took several weeks to process and be sent out. The MASSIVE box of injections and pillls arrived and quite honestly we thought... WHAT ARE WE ABOUT TO GET OURSELVES INTO?! The days of football and coronas are now long over. (well, not so much football, but definitely corona.)

On October 1st, we called our doctor to see what the next steps would be as we only had 14 days left in our 90 day waiting period. We were told that we start on day 21 of our cycle. Of course we were bummed by this news... more waiting... until we were asked when J's last Day 1 was. Since it was on September 16th we were told that we could start our injections on October 7th! This was 7 days before our waiting period was up! FINALLY WE CAUGHT A BREAK!!!!!

We went in for our "how to" class early Tuesday morning and then preceeded with our first injection later that evening. As J had to travel for work the next day, she gave the shot to herself as practice for the following night. After several c ounts to 1..2..3 J finally jabbed the needle into her stomach. OUCH! That hurt more then she had thought it would! But it was done. 1 down, 13 days to go for the Lup.ron. After the 14 days, we go in for an u/s and b/w to make sure J's ovaries are suppressed. We were told by suppressing the ovaries, it gives our dr full control of our cycle. If all checks out, we will being the Reprone.x cycle of injections.

Injections have been going fine. Some days it hurts more than others. Only one call to the pharmacy with a panicked "is she going to die?" J injected herself (while in DC on business) and when she pulled the needle out, bright red blood followed. Enter M calling the pharmacy while J worries she hit a vein. The pharmacist had assured us that while "this is NOT normal, it could happen and it isn't anything to worry about." Not so r elieved but definitely bruised.

We have yet to find the "perfect location" of where to inject for the miminal amount of pain. Until then, J's stomach will be covered in pinholes, bruises and a few welts. Sexy eh?

Monday, October 13, 2008

The last year of our lives.... recapped.

Every day we said "we should really be writing all this stuff down" ... every time something good or bad happened ... but we kept putting it off. So here we are 1 year into trying to get pregnant and we're finally going to start documenting our journey.

October 2007
It was early October when we first headed to Fairfax Cryobank to pick up "the goods." We had finally made the difficult decision on which donor to use and now it was time to meet him! Since our fertility doctor was in DC and our 1.8 billion potential babies were all in Virginia, we decided it would be best to personally transport them to the doctors office. So we drove out to the cryobank to pick up what we expected to be a small container. Sperm are small. So the container that holds them should be small too, right? Wrong. Picture your typical missle and then picture bigger. Now picture us carrying this large vessel-like-object around M Street in Georgetown! For those that don't know M street, it would be like carrying a similar object around Times Square in NYC!

Well we got the goods delivered, although this is hardly how we imagined our first outing with our babies! Now if only the rest of our baby making could be as fun as this day was :)

November 2007
First IUI ... unsuccesful. Almost positive we did not time this right.

December 2007
Second IUI ... unsuccesful. Again - almost positive we did not time this right. This time we tried using Proge.sterone although it didn't change the outcome of this attempt.

January 2008
M is now living in NJ and J is still living in DC. This month J had to inseminate on her own. But this may have been the change we needed (along with the addition of Clo.mid) because this time we got a positive pregnancy test! J was home for the weekend and we got to take the test together. It was completely unbelievable when we saw the pregnancy test turn positive. We thought it was too good to be true. And guess what, we were right. The b/w looked good the first check, but 2 days later... the beta numbers had dropped. It was a chemical pregnancy. BLAH. The only good news was that J responded well to the Clo.mid and she can get pregnant! The only side affect she had to the Clo.mid was some hot flashes which were entertaining to watch as she began stripping articles of clothing.

February 2008
It's so sad when a month is wasted. There's really no feeling like it - when you realize that when your eggs ovulate and look for sperm they will not find any to become fertilized with. Instead they will shrivel up and die. This is what February was for us because even though we were not pregnant any longer our beta numbers refused to go to zero ... and until that happened we could not try another IUI. So we sat ... waiting... impatiently.

March 2008
This was an interesting cycle. Not only did our doctor tell us we could not attempt an IUI this month but he also informed J that she should go on the pill. Thats right, my les.bian wife that was trying to get pregnant was now on birth control for the first time in her life! Ironic isn't it? Our doctor had high hopes that the BC would help to get rid of the cyst that had formed ... we think due to the Clo.mid. End of month proved our doctor to be wrong as the cyst was still there taunting us.

April 2008
Well we finally got to try to get pregnant again this month. It was Spring and there was a promise of new life ... and we had especially high hopes. It was our first IUI with our new fertility doctor in NJ and he had informed us of a little something called the Trigger Shot. WHAT?! What is this shot and how did our other doctor fail to mention this to us!? Why were we inseminating based on a whim and an ovulation stick?! It had always been such a crap shoot to figure out when to inseminate and now with the knowledge of the trigger shot we could know within 36 hours of when to inseminate. We finally felt we had a chance to get pregnant. After using clo.mid for 5 days we went in to see how many follicles had formed. We went for a u/s and it showed 8 follicles too small to use just yet. We were instructed to return in a few days once the follicles had grown a bit. When we went back for another u/s we were looking forward to hearing some great news, so we were a little sad when our doctor informed us that none of the eggs had grown and our ovaries appeared to be ummm... resting. Yes, taking a nap. So he had us repeat the Clo.mid even though this was not something we even thought was possible. The next week we went and found that we had some mature follicles! YAY- once again we were hopeful and geared up for our insemination.

May 2008
It's Mothers Day and today is the day that we can do our Pregnancy Test. Once our eggs finally woke up and grew to a respectable size the rest of the insemination went perfectly. Plus it's Mothers Day - it's meant to be, right?! So we wake up and take the test fully expecting a Yes. Again, it's Mothers Day, it just HAS to be positive. Negative. (Yes, you read correctly, Negative on Mothers Day). Enter mexican restaurant and Coronas.

The next day we tell our doctor it was negative but they ask us to come in for b/w to confirm so we do. Only to find out that we ARE in fact pregnant. However the numbers were a little low (12.1 on 5/12). At this point we are cautiously optimistic but are figuring it will end up as another chemical. Later that week they had more than tripled which was great news! (80.0 on 5/15). And by Saturday 5/17 the beta had reached 258! We waited one week before our next round of b/w and our betas had reach 4166 on 5/23! All signs were good, we even got to see the baby gestational sac and carried the u/s picture around with us like it was an actual baby. We were too excited to keep it a secret and told basically everyone we knew that we were 7 weeks pregnant. Yeah, it was a little early to tell people, but all signs were good, and we already had 1 m/c, so we had to be ok this time. After we had told pretty much everyone that we were expecting we went in for our appointment to see the baby's heartbeat. There was none. We waited one week and went in again and this time there was a heartbeat! Our prayers had been answered! But then the doctor told us the heartbeat was too slow to be happy. The following week there was no heartbeat and our dr didn't have to say anything we were already unhappy.

Just to recap that cycle in case you couldn't keep up: ovaries "resting", ovaries made eggs, inseminate, negative pregnancy test, positive pregnancy test, numbers too low, numbers look good, see the pea sized baby, no heartbeat, heartbeat but too slow, no hearbeat. Sound like a rollercoaster? Because it sure felt like one!

July 2008
We let everyone know that we had miscarried and decided to let nature take its course ...
After 2 weeks of heavy, heavy (scary heavy) bleeding it finally stopped. There were definitely phone calls to the doctor in this time to make sure that the amount of blood we were seeing was normal (and safe). Then it finally stopped. We figured it had all passed, but after a u/s we were told there was still more to come out. Again, we think nature will do its thing. So 2 weeks later began more heavy bleeding. This time it all has to be all out for sure! Doctor appointment, u/s, still more to come out - sound familiar? Yeah, except this time we were told that we pretty much had to get a D&C ... because nature had clearly not been taking it's course.

On July 14th, J went in for her first sugery ever and her first anesthesia ever. All went well but the real recovery was the emotional one.

August 2008
We thought we could try another IUI this month since J was completely recovered from the D&C, but when we asked our doctor they told us that following any surgery it was required that we wait 90 days before doing anything otherwise insurance would not cover it. Seriously? We did not know this - it really would have been nice to know this. So we called our insurance company to verify and they told us that they had never heard of that and it was not true. So we called our doctor back and they assured us that it was true. So we called the insurance company back and got the same answer. At this point we are so confused so we tell our doctor to talk to our insurance company with us on the line. The conversation went something like this: - "I understand there is some confusion with J's coverage"
doctor - "No, she doesn't have coverage because of the global code" - " Ohhhhh, the global code! Yeah, she has to wait 90 days."
doctor - "ok bye."
J - "WHAT THE (%&$!!!!"

Maybe you could have mentioned this "global code" 4 weeks ago instead of wasting my time calling and the dr 400 times?!

At the end of the day we knew we had to wait 90 days - which meant October 14th.

September 2008
Helloooooooooo coronas and college football. We decided that if we weren't pregnant or even trying to get pregnant, we were at least going to enjoy your time off.

October 2008
IVF process begins and this is where we start blogging in real time.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Would The Perfect Donor Please Stand Up

We always knew we wanted to start a family but being two women in a committed relationship, we didn't know where to begin. We embarked on an extensive internet search coming to the conclusion that we would need two things: a fertility doctor and a donor.

After months of meticulously searching for a the perfect altruist, we finally narrowed down the perspectives from ten to five, and finally to three. Three catalog numbers, three health reports, three personality profiles, three childhood photos. In the wise words of SchoolHouse Rock, "Three is the magic number" right? Well, in our case, THREE is TWO too many. Sigh.

We knew the main criteria for our perfect donor would be excellent health records, height (as we are both tall), blue eyes (since one of us has brown eyes and one has blue, we looked back to our grammar school days when we learned about eye color dominance and wanted to make sure that our children would have a chance to have either of our eye colors), and athletic (as we both are).

We knew we both wanted to carry a child and therefore determined that our donor would be the integral component that would interconnect our children. This decision only made our current deliberation that much more important.

In time, three narrowed to two and it soon became very clear to us who our donor should be.